On a recent mission to preach at a Ralph's Super Market parking lot in N. Hollywood, which also included a great little half Taco bell/Pizza Hut. (A great place to pick up snacks for Lock Inns). A group of eager on-lookers appeared and surrounded me as I preached, standing atop My good dear friend, and fellow Waldorph Christian Parish member, and defender of Our Good Lord and God, Jesus Christ, Randall Thread Horn's Camry trunk hood. I preached the Gospel of a man on fire, covered in the satanic flames of the devils deeds, and sins. I asked the crowds of shopper and sinners to reach out to me, for the power of grace and solitude, to confront their fears of liquor's seduction in the aisles of their super market of satanic refuge.
Many listened to the keen word of the Lord, (Tracy Marune), as others fled to there cars of cowardly retreat, only to drive there automobile down a burning path of biblical mercy into the bowels of Hell.
As I preached at the top of my Lungs for these small pawns in the devils hand to put down there property of impurity, I heard a young man yell back at me in a very demonic rap music voice saying "no player." Then, before I could spot the evil sinner, I felt a tearing blow to my head, one of which could have been compared to likes of an evil demon of the Underworld. Once I Came to, I discovered my head, that was given to me by our good lord Jesus Christ was bleeding like I had worn a crown of thorns. I then noticed a bloodied Arby's Bag filled with Batteries was lying next to me. Randall later explained to me that the bag had ascended from the crowd and struck my head, knocking me to the ground.
Randall then quickly drove your good father and friend, Tracy Marune, to a near by Parish where they were kind enough to document my injuries for future legal documentation and feed my soul with the food of there youth group.
I ask you the reader, to voice any knowledge of the Evildoers that struck your Lord and Father Tracy Marune, with the Evil sack of the Devil's Batteries, sent to charge his heart of Darkness and fuel his reign of terror in our communities here and afar.
With this I pray,
Your Good Lord and Friend-Tracy Marune, Youth Minister, Waldorph Christian Parish, Goshen, Ohio.